u know that all these while.. u have been really enjoying urself.. but not to the fullest.. u really wonder why is that so.. though o level is over.. u now have many other things on ur mind.. on days when u needed ur frens.. they are not there..well.. u don't know.. to u ur  frens have all drifted apart form u.. we used to share a lot.. one of them whom u once always talked to now seem to have drifted away from u.. u guys seldom talk.. and to u she might have changed her attitude towards u is just so different.. u don't know why is that so.. just yesterday.. u were at a chalet..u didn't know who to hangout with.. the guys or the girls.. the guys were always in the room playing games.. and there were 2 groups of girls. one of which u used to hang out with and are not close anymore.. and the other..u are not even a least bit close or even hanged out before... what really amazes u is that even though it was ur first time hanging out with them.. it felt as though u were one of them.. when we were at the playground sitting down and chatting..the problems within their own group actually brought u guys closer to each other.. whereas for the group u always hang out with actually drifted further apart.. it makes no sense to u.. on days when u have no one else to hangout with and u are alone.. u tend to think a lot of ur problems and think of the worst that can happen.. u remeber when u were walking home  after the little hunt for games with ur guy..u know he was really dissapointed and pissed off... u really didn't know what to do to cover up all of that..u just felt really fucked up... u just wanted to help but in the end help by helping him feel worst.. STUPID ME.. while on the dark lonely road.. a song by Avril Lavigne - Nobody's Home.. left u breaking down.. i never ussed to cry so easily.. but it hit right on the nail how u were feeling there and then.. i always tell myself u brought this to urself.. so what the hell.. u have to face it..
u have changed JY.. so much so.. otheres don't know u and u don't know who u are.. u remeber u used to be the innocent and naive gurl always dreaming... good that u have woken up from reality.. but it isn't so good after all.. u are always depressed and can never be alone.. if not u will just let ur thoughts wonder everywhere.. u HATE that.. wtf.. i hate myself.. life sucks.. nobody is there to hear u out.. listen to what u want to say.. when u want a particular person to hear u out, he's not there.. why...when u wish u could talk to him.. he is busy and he wil msg u later.. does he.. he does not.. why.. u are wondering.. that day when u called ur guy he was busy and u understand y.. but the natural feeling is the other way round u start wondering.. yes he is goin to go soon.. he is happy now.. he doesn't need u.. hey and u once thougt when he needed u u were there for him.. when he did not.. he 'dumps' u aside.. u know u have to stop that.. but u can't and u don't know how.. there was a period of time when u always thought of ending it and the thought says are u sure u can let it go u will nv think back and u already cannot accept the past few facts that it just ended like that.. it is not a good sign.. but is there any other way out... where is ur life.. where has all ur cheerfulness gone..        

Well... in sec 2 i jus started to know Xin Hua.. i didn't know her that well... but remembered that she is the girl who always has the duck tail at the end of her hair... FUNNY... but that's how i remembered her... Sorry..( hehe )... then i got to know her more.. sec 3,then sec 4... the thing is she likes designer goods... don't understand why... but i think she is starting to change that liking becoz most of the time you pay for the brand and not the unique design... Anyway... she influenced me with all the brands and everything... GOOD FOR YOU! ( such great inflencing power... -.-) at the very least i am not as crazy as her to smile at herself when she enters a designer shop... and yes she goes GAGA over a GUCCI name card... INSANE..

Back to the gift my brother bought... he bought me a Dior bag... How i wish it was real... this is what i told my  mum.

MUM: Very nice bag leh..
ME: But surely fake one...haiz....
MUM: Of course lah... what do you think... Thailand leh... not Paris..
ME:...Sigh....you could have gotten me a shirt or something else... but not a FAKE Dior bag.. i know it's the thoughts that counts... but why a FAKE Dior bag...Sigh....